** Just want to add to my previous post..... I do recognize that there are health risks involved with conception, etc. the older a woman gets. However, I am also fully prepared to adopt a child if/when the time is right for me to decide I want a baby. There are thousands of children out there who are DESPERATE for a good, loving home. I know Ben and I could provide that. So, if I am "too old" to bear a child or if the risks are to great, I would have no problem adopting one!!

*grin*

And for the record, I'm 33.

2008-03-20 - 7:24 a.m.

When you're driving down the highway (or freeway for you West Coasties... and I dunno what they call them in South Africa *wink*) do you ever wonder how your brain gets from one random thought to another?

I was on my way to work this morning and Ben and I were chatting away about this and that. Then there was a break in the conversation and in a few seconds, my mind went off on a wild tangent. I decided to share this thought with Ben. I turned to him and said, "Isn't it ironic that if I were single (and still this age) that no one would harass me about not having a baby?"

I went a little further exploring and expanding upon that thought. You see, when we meet people for the first time usually the typical round of questions goes like this:

New Person: "How long have you two been married?"

Me: "Just about thirteen and a half years."

New Person: "Have any kids?"

Me: "Nope. Just a cat for now. And I've mananged to keep him alive for 8 years so I must be doing something right." {insert smile}

New Person: "Don't you want any?" ~or~ "How old are you?" Followed by: "Oh! You shouldn't wait too much longer. You could have a baby with health problems, etc. etc. etc."

Now see my beef with this is: if that same conversation went like this...

{hypothetical conversation now}
New Person: "Are you married?"

Me: "No. Not yet."

New Person: "When you get married do you want to have a family?"

Me: "Yeah."

Done. Finish. End of conversation. There would be no pressure or "advice" given to hurry up and get pregnant because of my age, etc. People don't typically go around recommending producing babies to other people who aren't married.

So then, *MY* question is: Why should it matter how old I am in regards to having a baby?

My theory is that just like falling in love and getting married to that special person, I'll just KNOW it when it happens. It'll hit me like a brick wall and suddenly I'll completely have the urge to have a baby. Right now, it just hasn't happened yet. And the worst part is (as I've discussed here in previous entries --- although those were NOT as calm as this one!) so many people are mean to me when I tell them I'm not ready. They think that I'm a horrible woman because to them, being a mommy is THE BEST THING EVER. It's the Shnizzle Fo' Shizzle. Don't get me wrong, I think it's the hardest job on the planet as well as the most rewarding, it's just not in my cards right now.

And then I even had one person tell me that I was selfish for not having a child. Well, if you ask me, I think it's a lot LESS selfish to make the resposible decision to NOT bring a child into the world when you're not ready than it is to have a child for the sake of society's expectations of married women, etc.

There are so many kids out there whose mothers didn't really want them and therefore they take that anger and frustration out on the kid(s). How is that fair?? I'd rather wait till I am absolutely, unequivocably, 100% sure that I am READY to have a baby before making that commitment. Cuz it's a life-long commitment. You can't send them back.

Or so I'm told.

Until next time...peace, love & HEALTH!!!