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2006-03-25 - 8:10 a.m.

You know what's bad about going to bed much later than usual? One tends to have weird-assed dreams.

Case in point: Last night.

So, there I am in my dream and I'm not feeling so well. I head to the doctor's office. Sometime while I'm sitting down talking to the doctor, I realize that I have to go to the bathroom.

I think I'm wheeled away but then I'm not sure. I recall finding out that I just gave birth. Huh? I ask the doctor (remember, dream sequences make zero sense) how far along was I? After all, I have been having my period and taking my birth control on a regular basis.

He tells me that I was 8 1/2 months pregnant when I went into labor. Apparently, labor was a mere 20 minutes. (See? Dreams really are fantasy!!!) And then I ask him, "Did I have a boy or a girl?"

He's happy to tell me that I've had a little girl.

So then, I'm trying to decide on a name for her as they bring her to me all wrapped up in a swaddling cloth. Then I remember that I have to tell Ben that I just had a baby!

Next thing I know, I'm at this beach house and trying to unpack my belongings. I call Ben on the phone but I can't remember if I end up telling him. Somewhere along the way I must have because I distinctly recall that I mention to him, "Oh this is just great. My SIL is going to have a field day with this information." (In real life, one of my 5 SILs is constantly on my case about having a baby. She's the one who has 5 kids in her blended family.)

So then I notice I'm holding my daughter and she's got brown hair. I look down at her and say, "Well you must have gotten that from your daddy!" Then almost like a hologram that changes as you shift it side-to-side in the light, her skin darkened. I'm panic-stricken now because neither Ben nor I have darker skin like someone who is of Hispanic descent. (However, in real life, with the right tanning gels I can get pretty darn brrrrown! Just ask Karyl or Ben... my favorite lily-white non-tanning relatives! Ha!)

So then my mind races. Wait. I've never cheated on Ben. That's GOT to mean that the baby's skin is genetic from generations past. And just as this thought enters my mind, I adjust her in my arms and her skin is as white as a sheet of paper, putting my mind at ease.

Then I realize that it's been many, many hours since she's eaten. I ask Karyl if it's too late to breastfeed. She reassures me that it's not. At that time, I decide to change the baby's diaper and as I lay her down suddenly, poop starts to emerge from her stomach as well as from her bottom like Playdoh in one of their famous toy "machines". (Sorry for the icky description, folks.)

Quickly I ask this guy to cover her up as I hand him some paper towels. I think it was my BIL, Kurt. (See? Again, dreams make little to no sense!)

Some time passes and I realize that now I have the difficult task of relaying this informtion to all my friends and family members and at the same time try to keep them from going into shock.

And while I'm trying to decide who to call first as I pick up the phone, I remember that I still haven't given my daughter a name.

It wasn't long after I began to think about the name that I hear a door opening and then clothes falling to the floor.... Ben had come home from working at the airport and slightly woken me up from this very bizarre dream.

I think between watching my soap opera where one baby was just born and someone is now pregant, my friend Alicia's pregancy and chatting with her about Jacob, and a conversation I had with Karyl not long before I went to sleep all contributed to my crazy, crazy dream.

Although it *would* be cool if labor was so fast and swift that I never even feel it when I actually have a baby someday!

Until next time... peace, love, & HEALTH!!!









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