For 2 days I've been sick.
For 4 days I haven't seen the sun.
For 8 days I've been without Ben.

The being sick is worse because Ben isn't here to take care of me. And last night, I had to clean up cat vomit while I was sick. Bummer.

Fortunately, Trip is back to normal and in good spirits & health. I know he's gonna be over the moon when "Daddy" comes home tonight. Well, his plane lands around 11:30-11:40pm. By the time he gets his baggage, hails a taxi from the terminal to the tower, gets in the car and comes home, it'll be 1am! If I hadn't taken 1/2 a day of sick leave yesterday and today (going to) then I'd probably take Wednesday off to spend with him.

Despite all this "bad" news... there is a light at the end of the tunnel!!! It's a lonnnng holiday weekend for us. Woo-hoo! I hope Ben and I get to do something really fun.

In the meantime, I really hope that I'm back to my usual self (health-wise) by tomorrow or the next day at the least! So, if you could send some Good Health Vibes my way, I would greatly appreciate it.

That's all the news for now in my world....

Until next time...peace, love & HEALTH!!!

2007-09-25 - 2:12 p.m.

Ever noticed how sometimes the mood you�re in seems to fit perfectly with the type of weather outside?

Today started out with downpours of giraffes, rhinoceroses, and elephants. Yes, it was raining an entire zoo. In fact, several times I had to slow down to 50mph on the highway when normally I�m zooming by at 70. Visibility was severely reduced and if it weren�t for the fact that I was on the phone with Ben (headset in my ear thank-you-very-much), I�d have been more nervous.

Then the downpour lessened and it was gloomy and drizzly. Yes, I said drizzly and you didn�t. Finally, the clouds pushed away a bit and there were a few remote patches of blue sky�but it wasn�t the typical �sky blue� sky� it was the more grey-blue color of a cold, winter�s morning.

So there I was sitting at my desk contemplating my life. Lately I�ve been �itching� for something more. What that is, I haven�t quite nailed down yet. What I do know is that I�ve been working this job for 8 months and quite frankly, I�m over it. I was actually over it about 3 months ago but that�s beside the point.

Something is gnawing at me on the inside� while I never considered myself to be the working girl type, I also know that earning a paycheck is a pretty decent enterprise. At the same time, working a job where I am just not feeling over-the-moon is a serious drawback. I want to find a job that will pay me money and I can still feel passionate about the work that I am doing.

A lot of people around here have suggested that I become an air traffic controller. I toy with the idea but then just as I think that I might just want to do it, I have second thoughts. Having a government job is definitely job security�there�s very little that they would find a reason to fire me. In fact, sadly enough, I could literally sit here at my desk and stare at the computer screen for 10hrs and do absolutely nothing and they wouldn�t get rid of me. I don�t know why the government works like that, but it does.

Regardless, I want to wake up and be EXCITED about work. I want to feel PASSION. I want to make money doing something that I already love.

And that�s the hard part� what do I want to do and what is available for a girl like me-- a girl who isn�t quite educated, has few skills and isn�t really marketable?

Wanna know what really brings me joy? May sound stupid, but I seriously love baking/cooking for other people. I bring in treats to work 2 or 3 times a week (which is a lot considering that I only work 4 days). I always am excited when I know someone is coming to visit because then I know I have an opportunity to prepare a meal and dessert for him/her.

As it is, here�s a list of all the people that I bake for currently:

 my chiropractor
 my hairdresser
 my dentist
 co-workers; both Air Traffic & Tech Ops
 individuals at work for their birthdays
 and I�ve even FedEx-ed my goodies across country a time or two or four

I�m even considering having some of the ATCs over this weekend just so I can cook them dinner & dessert.

But here�s the caveat; it�s tough to make a decent salary doing what I really want do. And, I don�t want to be a chef. I would rather have a small, cozy caf� that was open for limited hours where people could meet, unwind, have a bite, and just enjoy themselves. I would bake everything fresh that day and sell it that afternoon.

This is only a dream for I know in reality this would never work. And if it could actually become a dream realized, it�d probably take a lot of start up money to do so.

All I know is that I can�t keep living on the brink of �something� even if that �something� is unknown to me. I don�t want to end up being an Administrative Services Coordinator for 15, 18, 20 years! And, I especially don�t want to be stuck in a dead-end job that has no possibility for advancement, promotion, etc.

If only I had been smarter when I was younger�

What do I do?!?! That seems to be the burning question in my mind.

Until next time�peace, love & HEALTH!!