I feel out-of-sorts. Part of me is in a pretty good mood despite the fact that it's Monday morning and I'm at work. Of course, like most people, I'd rather be doing anything else. At least the weather isn't spectacular. When the weather is so pretty/warm, etc. then I really hate working in an office. Don't get me wrong, I have windows near my desk, but the sun never really hits that side of the building.

Anywho...

So, I'm back to being so stressed out. I don't have enough time to do the things I want to do when I'm at home. I say, "Oh, I want to X" but I have other things that take priority and I don't get to the so-called-fun stuff. I also feel badly that I don't have time to catch up on diaries on my weekend. I can't remember the last day I actually talked to my seeeeester on the phone. This especially pains me because before I had this damned job, we'd talk DAILY. I miss knowing what's going on in her life...even the mundane, routine things. I hate finding out about that stuff on her webpage. Don't get me wrong, I'm not mad at her but rather mad at the situation that we've not been in touch much lately.

There are so many things I want to do and haven't managed to find the time to do. For example, ever since Ben remodeled a wall in our kitchen (cut it out with an arch) the items in those two cabinets were relocated. Now they're in two other cabinets and really need to be organized. He remodeled at the end of December!

I got a beautiful digital photo frame for Christmas from my Dad and still haven't been able to play with it. I also got a key-chain sized one from my former supervisor, John and it still sits in the package. I've lost touch even via email with some of my close friends like: BC, DK, JC, AS.... *sigh*

I feel like I'm fading into the background. Or, just fading away. I won't even begin to tell you the heartache I feel about "losing" another best friend. I'm beginning to think that something is seriously wrong with me but I just don't know what.

I also have been slacking on my punctuality in regards to birthdays and gifts. I manage to get a card and or a gift there, it's just usually a day or two after the fact. I *NEVER* used to be like this. I want to find a happy balance between accomplishing my domestic duties and my work responsibilities but at the same time not lose sight of having fun and being true to myself.

Is this too much to ask??? Perhaps.

Until next time...peace, love & HEALTH!!!