I know it�s been two and a half weeks since my last entry, but I just *knew* that waiting would be worth it. I didn�t want to post any of the boring and mundane details that have become my life, so I waited until something quite out of the ordinary happened before making an entry.

So, here goes. I know that all 4 of my loyal fans have been waiting with baited breath. You�re on the edge of your seats, I can just feel it. The suspense is killing you. What? What is that you say? Just get on with it? Well, alrighty then!!!

Last night, Ben�s co-worker, Steven asked us out to dinner. Sounded like a fantastic idea to me. I�d been in the house all week and looked forward to the break. He had never eaten at the Cheesecake Factory, so Ben suggested that we eat there. The menu is extensive. In fact, it�s so vast that it comes in a spiral-bound notebook of sorts and there is an advertisement (like those in up-scale magazines) on every other page.

They sell everything from pasta to salads to egg dishes to seafood, etc. And the best part: 30+ flavors of cheesecake. And lemme tell ya, if you order a slice you get your money�s worth for $6! It�s not a sliver. It�s a mountainous hunk-o-love!

But I digress.

We had placed our orders: Steven ordered The Big Five Pizza, Ben ordered a Hawaiian Pizza without meat and cheese and added peppers and mushrooms, and I had a mahi sandwich that they call The Hawaiian Fish burger. (It comes with a bun, lettuce, tomato, and a side of tartar sauce.)

We waited.....and waited.....and waited....and waited some more. Finally, I said to the guys, �I know how to get our food here faster!� Ben said, �You gonna go to the bathroom?� I replied, �Yep!�

Keep in mind that I�ve eaten at many different locations of The Cheesecake Factory. I�ve eaten at ones in Birmingham, Alabama; Charlotte, North Carolina, and Orlando, Florida. So, I walked across the restaurant. A tall, blonde woman was just exiting the bathroom as I walked in. She had an odd look on her face, but I chalked it up to the typical snobbiness that you often find at places like this.

I had to pee really bad so I walked to the first stall. It was quite chilly---the a/c was blasting and I wasn�t looking forward to putting my bare ass on that ceramic seat. As I walked into the stall, I noticed that the lid to the toilet was up and what appeared to be a few drops of pee were on the edge below. I grabbed a wad of toilet paper and wiped down the seat thinking to myself, �If I ever have a little boy, I�m going to teach him to wipe the seat after every trip to the bathroom. I sat down and began business. Midstream (sorry for the visual, ya�ll), I hear a man�s voice. It�s getting closer.
I�m now panicking. Did I mistakenly walk into the men�s bathroom? I reassure myself, �Nah. He�s just outside the bathroom door talking loudly over the din of the restaurant. (The bathrooms to this restaurant are in the waiting area and are located in the mall.) I could hear his conversation almost distinctly at this point and I realize that yes, indeed, I had walked into the men�s room.

A million thoughts rushed through my mind at once.

Do I wait until he�s gone and then leave? But what if more guys come in? Surely, if they look under the stall doors to see which are occupied, they�ll see my leeeetle tiny boots and instantly know that they don�t belong to a man. How do I get out of here??

Finally, I decided to shut off the valve early and decide I can finish this business later. I stand up and then think, If I flush the toilet, that will draw attention to me and once I walk out of the stall��..

I made a command decision. I was going to flush, and walk as quickly as possible past the man and I was going to put my hand in the air while facing straight forward and say to him, �You don�t see me.�

I took a deep breath and made a break for it. I walked as quickly across that marble flooring as my little black boots would take me. Fortunately for me, he was facing the sink and so involved in his cell conversation that he didn�t notice me AT ALL. I had made up my mind that I was not going to pass Go, I was not going to collect $200, and I most certainly was not going to stop and wash my hands!!! (Thank goodness for anti-bacterial hand gel in my purse is all I can say!)

As I was walking hurriedly by, I happened to notice out of my peripheral vision, three urinals on the wall. Instantly I thought, Now why didn�t I see those when I walked in? Ohhhh, I know why. It�s because they�re father back from the stalls and set off by a partition between them and the sink on one side and another between the first stall and them on the other.

I opened the door, slid out quite stealthily, and no one was any the wiser. Fortunately, there was a lull in the flow of traffic into the restaurant and no one was in the waiting area either. As I crossed the restaurant back to the table I knew that I was going to have to share this embarrassing, but quite amusing escapade with Ben and Steven. They got a good laugh at my expense.

So, see dear readers, the moral here is: Wait long enough and there will be something substantial and worth writing about in your online journal!

Until next time�peace, love, & HEALTH!!!