First of all, I have to tell you all that I'm going into withdrawal and need my fix. So, here in public, I am beggingyou to update your diary!! Please?!? Pretty please? Pretty please with whipped cream and a marachino cherry on top cuz I know you don't really like the regular cherries?!?

Ok, now that I have that taken care of... I'm going to try my best to recreate the entry that I had just about finished last night when POOF! into magic air my entry disappeared. I was pretty upset about it, but I didn't let it get me down. I was mostly bummed because it was such a good entry and because I was quite funny when I wrote it. So, here goes kids:

The night before last, I had a strange dream. Seems that I'm always having strange dreams, eh?!? So, anyway there I am in la-la land dreaming about my exboyfriend. First, that's funny in of itself because, having been married for nearly 7 years, it seems odd to even say that word "exboyfriend." Secondly, this particular exboyfriend was a decade ago. (Where the hell did the years go?) :-)

Interesting story how I met J.J. I remember it if it were yesterday. My mom was night manager at a club called O'Hara's. He was the resident D.J. So, one night she introduced us. There I was wearing black spandex pants (Oh, gawd!) a shimmery, gold lame blouse (What WAS I thinking?!?) and 4" black spiked heels. {Man, I was a fashion accident waiting to happen!) I thought I was so cool. {NOT!} He introduced himself and we chatted between songs. Meanwhile he played some songs seemingly just for me. We were flirting pretty heavily. I was thinking how lucky I was because at the time, I thought he was wayyyy out of my league. He was freshly discharged (honorably) from the Navy at age 24 and I was freshly graduated (with honors) from highschool at age 17.

At the end of the night, he offered to drive me home. I get into his Mazda RX-7. Already, I'm impressed. He drives me to my mom's condo. We sit in the car listening to the stereo. (I have to admit, it had a system like none other that I've seen even to this day!) Van Halen's "Fat Bottomed Girls Make the Rockin' World Go 'Round" was coming through the speakers. The conversation gravitated towards music and I mentioned that I was into hard rock/heavy metal. He asks who my favorite band/artist is and I enthusiastically reply, "Steve Vai". The next thing I know, I'm listening to my favorite Steve Vai tune, "For The Love Of God". At that point, I think I'm in heaven.

Then the awkard "kiss" moment happens. I'm nervous as hell because in my eyes, he's a "grown" man and I'm just a girl.

Sorry. Got off track. Where was I?

Oh, yeah. The Kiss.

So, he leans over and very gently kisses me on the lips. Fireworks go off in my body. He opens my door and I get out and go inside. A few nights later, we went on our first official date.

Fast forward nine months. In this time I turn 18, go to boot camp, come home for two weeks' leave, go to "A" school for the Navy, and get my orders to Great Lakes, Illinois. He doesn't come to my boot camp graduation and he doesn't want to move to Illinois to be with me. I figured out that he was a borderline alcoholic. So, basically the relationship dissolved.

I saw him again 3 years later when I was living in Norfolk, VA. I was already married to Ben and stationed at Little Creek Amphibious Base. He had taken up with a girl with a son. He wasn't the same guy that I knew back then. He was polite and nice to me, but his demeanor had change. I was sad to see him in such a different light. Since then, whenever I see a charcoal grey, 1987 Mazda RX-7 I think of J.J. and wonder how he's doing.

Ahhh...but that's life. ;-)

Thought Of The Day:"I do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday."--Abraham Lincoln

Until next time... peace, love & HEALTH!!!