DISCLAIMER: Due to capturing the essence of the actual events I'm about to describe, this entry is gonna be a doozy.

And on with the show.......

I meant to write this yesterday while it was still fresh in my mind, but I just didn't have time.

Our story starts last Friday, March 21st.

Ben and I were out running around town as we usually do on Fridays. I had bought a pair of Boot Cut jeans from Old Navy earlier that week because they were on sale. Unfortunately for me though, their "short" length was still too long for my little legs.

So, Friday Ben and I decide to take them to an alteration shop to have them hemmed.

We pull up to the shop. Ben tugs on the door to open it and realizes that it's locked. We saw an older lady sitting at a sewing table inside. She walks over, unlocks the door and lets us inside. Ben quizzically,yet politely asked her, "Are you closed?" (We figured that since it was a Mom&Pop type of a shop that they may have irregular hours.)

The old lady snaps back, "Why do you think the door is locked???"

Ben and I shot puzzled looks at each other and answer in confused manner, "I don't know why."

She sarcastically offers the reason. "Whouldn't YOU lock the door if you were here all by yourself?" (As if we are pyschic and knew that she was alone in the store.)

After this brash introduction, I explain that I need to have my jeans hemmed. She points in the direction of the dressing room where I put on the jeans that need to be shortened.

She pins and marks them and I go back to the dressing room and take off the jeans that I was having altered. I come out and hand them to her. Meanwhile, Ben was making small-talk with her. She goes over to write up the ticket and asks for my number. I give her my local number. Seeing my cell phone attached to my jeans' pocket, she asks for that as well. I explain that if she calls my cell phone, that it'd be long distance for her. (I'm thinking that I'm being kind and keeping her from paying long distance charges.)

She replies aggresively, "MY long distance is free!" (Alrighty then!) So, I give her my cell phone number as well. I ask her for an estimation of time when the jeans would be ready for pick-up and also an approximate price.

She tells me that her part-time girl doesn't come in until the next day so they won't be ready until Tuesday afternoon. (I'm perfectly ok with this) She also informs me that it will cost $9 (I think that's a little high, but whatever) and they don't accept credit cards. (I set it in my mind to bring cash that day)

We thank her and walk out the door.

Fast forward to Tuesday, March 25th, 2003 at approximately 2:50pm.

I walk up to the door and knowing full well that she has the door lock, wait patiently for her to open the door. She lets me walk inside and impudently asks, "You're by yourself today???" (As though going out in public by myself as a woman is unheard of)

I sarcastically say to myself: Uh, yeah! Most people do things by themselves, lady!

But I digress.

She points the jeans sitting on the table all ready for pick-up. I politely ask if I may try them on. She agrees. As I'm walking to the dressing room, I look down at the hem and am appalled! They look like someone with very little experience threw a hem in them. It was a single thin stitch and they LOOKED like they had been hemmed. (I don't know how to describe it any better than that..sorry folks!) In other words, they didn't look as though I bought them that way off the shelf. I try them on anyway. The length is okay. They look ridiculous in my opinion. But, I tell myself that I'm not going to say anything to Old Lady unless she asks me.

In my head I'm thinking, "I'm about to pay $9 for this crap???"

She tries to make small talk as I walk out of the dressing room and over to my purse. As I get a $10 bill out of my wallet she says to me, "So. What do you do while your husband is at work all day." Very abruptly I answer, "Run errands. Clean house. Cook." She gets up from her sewing table and approaches me. I hand her the money. After she has taken the $10 from my hands she says insolently, "What's wrong? You look disgusted." (She puts emphasis on the word disgusted.)

Very slowly and cautiously I reply, "Wellllll... I am a little frustrated. I was hoping that the pants would look like they do when you buy them off the shelf."

All of a sudden without warning, her eyes gloss over and she raises her voice as she shoves the $10 back in my hands. "GET OUT! Get out and don't come back. Get out now!" I'm stunned. I reply calmly, "I don't have a problem paying for the jeans." (I figured that she DID provide a service even if it wasn't what I was expecting) She yells at me again to get out.

I repeat, "I don't have a problem paying."

She becomes very snotty and says, "Common sense would tell you that only the factory can make them have that wrinkled look. "

I shot back with, "COMMON SENSE says that I obviously don't sew and that's why I brought them here. If that had been explained to me ahead of time, that would have been different."

She yells at me again. "GET OUT NOW!!!"

I'm furious at this point. My heart is racing and my blood is boiling. Finally, I yelled back at her, "I'd be HAPPY to take my money and my business elsewhere because OBVIOUSLY you're just a miserable old womand who hates life!!!" I spun on my heels and shoved open the door.

I got into my car, put on my headset and called Ben. I was breathing heavily by this time. I didn't peel out of the parking lot because what sense would it have made to ruin MY tires on account of her dumb ass!

The next 10 minutes I dumped on Ben. I haven't used that many F-words since I left the Navy almost 7 years ago!!!!

And you should see these pants. Not only do they look ridiculous, but the hem isn't even straight. And, on the one leg whoever sewed them, missed the seam on the side so if it catches on anything, the hem is going to come undone easily. Not to mention that it's a single stitch. A friend of mine who is more familiar with alterations said that when you hem jeans it should have at LEAST a triple-stitch.

Needless to say, I think that I'm going to stick with buying my jeans at The GAP where I can buy the correct length and not have to go through this experience again!!

So, beware of mean old ladies in alteration shops.

Thought Of The Day:"Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning."--Bill Gates

Until next time... peace, love & HEALTH!!!

ps--- for the final laugh: the name of the shop was "Stitch Witch". NOW, I know why!!!!!

LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!