It's a conspiracy, I tell ya! A conspiracy!!!

You see, I am definitely short. Or, if you prefer the politically correct version: Vertically Challenged. It's sad that I'm an adult, yet most 5th graders look down on me.

I'm all of 4 feet, 11 and 3/4ths inches tall. Ok, with shoes on I'm 5 feet even. Maybe.

The conspiracy comes in when I buy clothing. It's bad enough that either my mom's or my dad's (or goodness forbid BOTH) sides of my family gave me wide hips and an ample backside. So, having a big bottom makes buying clothes difficult and add to it I have a small waist. Now, factor in that my legs are barely long enough to deserve the title of LEG. Ok, so they're long enough that my feet reach the ground as my momma would say, but they are definitely short.

So, when I finally do find a pair of jeans or pants that actually fit over my gluteus-MAXIMUS, they are wayyyyy too long. And I don't mean just a few inches. I mean like almost a foot too long. Ok, I am exaggerating a bit, but at least 4" - 6" needs to be hemmed. So, I take them to an alteration shop.

Granted, this service is only a mere $6, but if I spent $6 on every pair of jeans or pants or slacks to have them fit me properly, I'd be one poor girl! It's just not fair, I tell ya! Why do those damned fashion designers make their clothing to fit Amazon women? Oh, and here's another of my pet peeves... shopping in the PETITE section. Unfortunately, these same fashion designers think that petite is synonomous with THIN, ANOREXIC, etc. Just cuz a girl is Vertically Challenged, doesn't mean that she is blessed with narrow hips and a gluteus - MINIMUS.

Now, if I am fortunate enough to buy pants, eetc that fit me in the length, then they don't fit me in my waist. I have "The Gap". You ladies know perfectly well what I'm talkin' about here. So, basically I'M SCREWED!

ARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!

Ok, well maybe if I keep working out and eating right my Gluetus-Maximus will minimize and I'll lose the Gap Factor.

A girl can only hope, right?!?

Thought Of The Day: "You have to remember that there is more to life than just having fabulous thighs." --Wynonna Judd

Until next time... peace, love, & HEALTH!!!