I just thought I'd stop by for a moment. Does anyone ever miss me when I don't write? Cuz, sometimes I feel like no one reads this besides me!

Anyway... to share with you some of the humor that I am treated to during the week, I thought I'd share exerpts of email that Melissa and I send back and forth to one another.

Here are some examples:

Melissa: "One of my co-workers is going on and on to the guy on the other side of the wall from me about how her son got into the gifted program... how clever he is and how smart he is and how special he is and I'm thinking "Dammit, he's not special, he's just a bright kid. Quit making him an egomaniac, quit living through him, and don't be that excited that he's reading ... KIDS SHOULD READ".. it's a damn shame when a kid who reads is a f***ing stellar performer. It's a sad day when that's not the norm. I hate hearing parents go on and on about how special and advanced their kids are because no parents have a sense of perspective about it.. none of them realize that all parents think their children are advanced and extraordinary. Sorry.. just cranky because I know she's coming my way next and I'd rather shoot myself in the foot than listen to her tell me how smart this kid is when all I know about him is that when I loan him my toys at work he thinks it's funny to throw them."

Me: "i just have to say that you are my most fav person to receive emails from! i kid you not. no matter what the topic, you always seem to make me laugh... and out loud a lot of the time, too!"

Melissa: "Awww.. thanks :) I try to be endlessly entertaining.. it's so wearisome.. I deserve ice cream ;-)"

Me: "Sure, have a small bowl of Soy Dream... as long as it's non-dairy, you deserve ice-cream. why? cuz I said so, that's why!" :-)

Me: "Being smaller is my goal. i'm sick of jeans not fitting me properly. i'm sick of seeing photos of me with my GIANT ass. I know i'm ok size-wise for the rest of me, but my ass is tooooooo damned big. period. oh, my thighs, too. Boobs---they're perfect! There is a gawd!"

Melissa: "I've always thought you were delusional about the size of your butt.."

Me: "So you HAVE been looking at my ass... you have Ass-Envy, don't you?!?"

Melissa: "The worst part is that there's no such thing as spot fat reduction. Blech. Because if there was I'd charge up the lazer and point it at my gut. And then a shot at each boob. :)"

Me: "See, responses like this one make me laugh. It's why your emails make me smile. I'm all warm & fuzzy inside now. Thank you."

Melissa: "Well.. if your goal is to be smaller, maybe it's not.. but that shouldn't be your goal. Still, I know what a crappy week feels like. Hang in there. Go for a walk, you'll feel better :)"

Me: "we should throw a double Pity Party and only invite ourselves. how ya like them apples?"

Melissa: "Will there be balloon animals? It's not a party without balloon animals."

Me: "man, i love my skechers, but sometimes i feel as though i just learned to walk when i wear them. they're the white sporty sneakers that have like...uh.... grippy, cleat-ee like things on the bottom, so occasionally you'll see me trip over my own feet cuz the grippy part of the bottom of my shoe will get stuck in the carpet."

Melissa: "I have the same problem with mine because they're just that slightest bit too long so I'll be walking along fine and then I'll trip over the toe. I'm so suuuuuave. Seriously, some man is going to see me one day and say 'I could not resist how remarkably gracefully you fell flat on your face. I must know your name.' And we'll live happily ever after. Thanks to my Skechers."

And now you know ...the rest of the story! (borrowed from Paul Harvey)

Thought of The day:"In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge."-- Aristotle

Thought of The Day #2:"Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies."--Aristotle

Until next time...peace, love & HEALTH!!!