As a girl growing up shuffled between Mississippi, Nashville, and Milwaukee, I didn't feel loved. I thought i could make people approve of me by becoming an achiever. Then in my twenties I based my worth on whether a man would love me. I remember once even throwing a boyfriend's keys down the toilet to keep him from walking out on me! I was no different from a physically abused woman. i wasn't getting slapped upside the head every night, but because my wings were clipped i couldn't soar. i had so much going for me, but without a man I thought I was nothing. Not until years later did I understand that the love and approval I craved could not be found outside of myself.

What I know for sure is that lack of intimacy is not distance from someone else; it is disregard for yourself. It's true that we all need the kind of relationships that enrich and sustain us. But it's also true that if you're looking for someone to heat and complete you--to shush that voice inside you that has always whispered, You're not worth anything--you're wasting your time. Why? Because if you don't already know that you have worth, there's nothing that your friends, your family, or your mate can say that will completely assure you of that. The Creator has given you full responsibility for your life, and with that responsibility comes an amazing privilege--the power to give yourself love, affection, and itimacy you may not have received as a child. You are the one best mother, father, sister, friend, cousin, and lover you will ever have.